


Neither doors nor stairs

by lesbian4lochness



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: :), Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Back to the fic, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Canon Divergent, D&D, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Is Gay, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, First Kiss, First work - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry, Innuendo, Keith (Voltron) Needs a Hug, Kinda, M/M, Mentions of PTSD, Mentions of Suicide, POV Lance (Voltron), Pidge | Katie Holt is So Done, Rumplestiltskin - Freeform, Shatt if you squint, Shiro Also Deserves Better, Spoilers for Season 5, Star Trek mention, Very not explicit, a lot of innuendo, actually don't do that there's curse words, also a break, anal came up as i typed that last tag and honestly what is this website doing, because keith is stubborn and refuses HELP, but i haven't watched season 6 yet so, but it's just mentioned, but it's offscreen and comes from less than reliable sources, but that is it, but with aliens so its an ANALOGY, covered up by spicy lance memes, except for hunk, fairy tale, fairy tale mentions, fucking superb you funky little lesbian, gratuitous amounts of french, he's an ally and we stan him for it, hi jenny, i'm gonna go write a fanfiction now, if thats too spicy, keith is a pretty princess, keith really needs better friends, okay sorry, okay thank you for reading my tags, pidge is an icon, pidge/female oc, plot heavy, pre season 6, pretty much, quicrowave, racism mention, sorry sweaty but those are the FACTS, surrounded by babies, the blade of marmora sucks, they might hold hands a little, things get better a little, this fic is so clean, this is way longer than it needs to be, title from Rapunzel, woop, you can read it in front of your parents in church
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-26 02:14:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14990549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbian4lochness/pseuds/lesbian4lochness
Summary: "Lance, how do you lose a Person??- and, for the love of god, don't say you forgot to cherish him."Keith returns from fighting with the Blade Of Marmora, and it couldn't be anything less like what Lance expects. Before he even has a chance to process this change, The Paladins are thrust into an Alien rescue mission that turns into a different kind of rescue, with a team mate who might as well be an alien. As Voltron re-learns how to work together under new circumstances, Lance must learn to set aside his feelings, and his Massive Stupid Gay Crush for the sake of his, and his friends' lives. And, Keith must learn that sometimes there's no harm in asking the people who care about you for help.





	1. Chapter 1

“So let me get this straight.” Shiro pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling sharply “You want us to enter a highly guarded planet in disguise and rescue you  
because of whispers??”

  
“Well when you say it that way…”

Lance was seated at a long, smooth table with the rest of his team. They all had been in relatively high spirits. Except, of course, for Shiro who rarely left his bedroom now for more than a few hours before returning, and Keith who was, as he always was, moody. Nevertheless, they had been in a good mood, that is, until the call came.

  
The figure on the screen was possibly the textbook definition of disheveled. His hair- furr? Fuzz?- stuck out in all directions like he’d been pulling at it, and the area below his eyes was a darker purple than usual. Lance recognised it as the “Cryptid Look” , coined by Keith and PIdge on occasion.

  
 “What i think the black paladin was trying to say.” diffused Allura “Is that you’re calling for quite dramatic measures for what may not even be a threat. Are you certain you’re in danger?”

  
“Yes!” the Galra yelled, Lance winced sympathetically as Shiro returned his hand to his temple, the universal symbol for ‘I have a headache and loud noises aggravate it, and i also have a robot arm so don’t fuck with me.’

  
“Yes.” The Alien said, softer. “You have my word.”

  
“Not that it’s worth much..” Keith mumbled from somewhere beside Lance.  
Definetely moody.

  
“Alright, then.” Allura stood from the table and glided over to the hologram at the end of the table, a picture of grace.Lance sometimes wondered how many books she’d had to balance on her head to get that sort of posture down. “Voltron needs to deliberate, but we will be in close contact once a decision is made. I wish you well.” She didn’t wait for a response before waving a hand through the screen.

“So...we’re not actually considering this, right?” Keith said once the image of the galra had dissipated.

  
Allura’s voice was steady. “I think we should consider.”

  
“A Galra Informant? You can’t seriously trust this guy.”

  
Pidge piped up from behind her computer screen. “It’s not really a matter of trust, keith. He asked for Voltron’s help, He is indebted to Us. We’re not exactly trust fallign into his arms.”

  
“You too, pidge? I thought you’d be on my side.” Keith raised his voice, and stood, bracing his arms on the table , and shiro let out a wince at the sound.  
Yeah, really definitely moody.

  
“This isn’t matter of sides, We’re a team and we’re trying to find a solution”. Pidge stood up to meet him, but their eyes weren’t exactly on the same level anymore.  
Keith had gotten taller since the last time they’d seen him. His posture was a knife edge, like it would hurt if he slouched even a little. His whole demeanor was different, even if he’d only been gone a few months. It was weird. So weird. Lance didn’t like it. Maybe he’d had to walk with books on his head, too, like a princess in a fairytale. Keith, the pretty princess. Yeah right. Lance scoffed under his breath, earning him a very keith-like glare, which was undercut with very un keith-like tension.

  
Okay, maybe keith was a little more than just moody.

  
“Why on earth would i help a Galra Informant escape a planet! He’s a Galra Informant! He helped Zarkon gather intel on the Rebellion, and he probably has some on us too!”

  
“I think that it’s unfair to deny this man help solely because he’s Galra, Keith.” Allura looked him directly in the eye. “After all, an individual isn’t responsible for his species.” The pointed look she gave him was not lost on anyone. “He likely did whatever he had to in order to survive. We’ve been at war for over ten thousand years, and rules change in war times.”

  
Keith was silent for a bit, but it didn’t feel like a victory. It felt like he was there, fuming from just under the skin, ready to break apart at any moment. That was probably the least Keith thing he’s ever seen. The guy was a lot- Mullet, anger issues and all, but he was never one to bottle things up. You always knew exactly what he was feeling, and why. It was a part of what made him who he was. His bluntness, his neglect to beat around any bush. But now, he felt terse. Like he was restraining himself from saying what he needed to say. Why wouldn’t he just let it out?

  
“What, Lance, you’re not gonna weigh in on this? Lecture me about being the bigger person? Anything?”

  
Lance snapped his head up from it’s spot trained on the floor. Keith wanted his opinion? Did he really care about what lance thought? Would it make any difference? Was he just trying to mock lance, or did he just want to talk to him? Jesus, lance thought, he needed to get a grip.

  
“I agree with allura.” He tested. “If he’s asking us for help, he doesn’t have any reason to betray us, right? Someone saves you from being murdered by your old boss’ disciples you don’t pay them back in more murder. Just usually some thanks, and maybe a street corner cup of coffee.”

  
“You really have to stop watching so many cop dramas, Lance.”

  
“Im a die hard Die Hard fan until i die, Pidge, You should know this.”

  
“Anyway.” Keith hissed through gritted teeth. “It could be a trap. For all i care, we can just let Zarkon’s allies take care of it. It would get him off our hands, and we wouldn’t have to worry about information being leaked.”

  
Pidge set down her laptop from it’s awkward place balanced on her hip.

  
“I know you’ve been away from us for a while, but Voltron can’t let someone die when they’re asking for he-”

  
“Oh, so you’re saying i’m out of practice? At least the blade of marmora actually took action instead of sitting around, debating what to do all day!”

  
“Well, maybe we’d be going in already f you weren’t so stubborn abou-”

  
“Maybe it’s not my fault you’re determined to save someone who couldn’t care less about the allia-”

  
There was a loud slam as Shiro got up from the table and speed walked to his bedroom. Matt got up from his perch in the corner of the room where he had been silently watching their discussion and sighed dejectedly. A look of concern flashed across his face as he followed after Shiro. Hunk wore a similar expression from the foot of the table, but Lance shook his head in warning. Whatever Shiro was going through, Matt could handle it. It was their business.

  
Shiro’s absence effectively silenced the paladins. Finally, Allura let in a shaky breath.

  
“We are representatives of the Voltron alliance, as well as what’s left of Altea. We are meant to restore peace to the universe. We aren’t a violent revolution, we aren’t Mercenaries, and we aren’t The Blade.”

  
The room echoed her words, and the silence that followed.

  
“We will not allow someone to die when they’ve asked us for help.”

  
Lance thanked her silently. He knew Keith was heating up,and allura had calmed them all before he exploded. Lance had an inkling suspicion if he did, it would not be the Normal Anger-Keith explosion they were used to. Lance was scared of what his new demeanor would bring if he did explode. Lance would have to ask Allura to teach him her ways, preferably over a candle-lit dinner. She’d roll her eyes, and ask if her future girlfriend could come along, and they’d laugh and things would be normal again.

  
Nothing had been normal since Keith left.

Not just in terms of team dynamic either. Lance would often find himself turning to crack a joke to someone beside him, his eyes seeking purchase on a familiar purple glare. But he’d turn to find nobody beside him ,and wondering why he was looking in the first place. Or, he would walk past the training arena late at night, when tremors wracked his body and dreams of gunshots filled his ears and kept him from sleeping, and find himself missing the clash of sword-on-sword when it was far too late to be training and Really? you need to get some rest or one day you’ll collapse right on the battlefield.He missed Keith sharpening his blade in time to the music Pidge had rescued from the Altean archives, he missed keith’s stifled laughter when lance made faces at him, from across crowded rooms at diplomatic events, he missed Keith getting passionate and heated about dumb things, and getting excited when Lance was interested in them.

He missed keith, and he was sitting right next to him

  
The room had filed out in silence, the only evidence there had ever been a fight was Keith’s tense shoulders and pidge’s glower over her shoulder when she passed him.  
Lance tried to pick up normal converstion, but keith refused to even look at him.

  
“Hey keith… buddy..”

  
Keith jumped, like he didn’t expect his name to be called. “What do you want.”

  
“I...I just wanted to…” To see how you’re doing, to make you laugh again, to ask if your favorite color is still secretly pink and what the first thing you’re gonna eat when we get back to earth is.

  
“You just wanted to... what? Mock me for losing the argument?”

  
“You didn’t lose anything, we were just having a discussion. You weren’t really that hell bent on killing that guy, were you?” Lance joked.

  
Keith was silent.

  
“Keith, you’re not mad at me... right?

  
He kept his eyes trained on the wall in front of them like it was the most important thing in the world. He looked at Lance like he couldn’t care less. Fine, Lance didn’t care either, and he wouldn’t go to the training deck later and totally wouldn’t imagine keith’ face when he wasn’t beating the crap out of the robo- sentry.

  
Lance left Keith in front of his room with no further words.


	2. Rumplestiltskin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Paladins enter uncharted territory, Keith is 110% more than just moody, and Matt has psycho-sexual issues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this whole plot before watching Season 6 and now it all seems inferior. I'm gonna try hard to keep my story straight, nevertheless

“I’m not saying i’d go out of my way to fuck Rumplestiltskin, i’m just saying if we were in a room together, and the mood was right, i probably wouldn’t say no.”

It was a long ride to the planet. Not so long they’d have to wormhole, but still several Vargas at least. Lance wasn’t exactly thrilled to be spending that time next to Keith, in all his brood-y glory, but he might as well make the best of it and make keith as uncomfortable as possible.

It was a petty thing to do, but Lance was a petty man. He thought if he could at least solicit a light blush from keith, he’d be winning.

Here’s the thing; lance had been about it for an Earth Hour and a Half, and Keith had not so much as reacted to his less-than-proper conversation topics. Not even an eyeroll. Lance could usually get him halfway to fire engine red at this point. Yet there he was, stoic and blush-less as ever. Lance though they’d gone through this phase already. When keith left, they’d been “Tolerating each other all of the time and sort of friends pretty often kinda”, which was a huge step up from “Natural enemies and rivals who can’t be next to each other without getting into a fistfight”.

Now? It was like Keith had completely forgotten all the bonding they’d done, and Lance couldn’t tell if he was acting out of resentment, or if he’d simply found better friends, and lance was no longer good enough.

“Wouldn’t he make you guess his name first?”

“I think you’re messing up your fairytales, Hunk.” Lance crossed the Green Lion’s cockpit in two smooth strides, side eyeing Keith, who was standing at attention, oblivious.

He sat on the dashboard next to where pidge was lazily scrolling through alien text. “What about you, Matt. You seem like you’ve got good taste in men.” He said directly into pidge’s comm.

“wha-Hey! Use your own!” Pidge half- yelled half- giggled. Shiro let out an awkward cough, restraining a grin.

“I think i’m more of a ‘Hunter-man-from little-red-riding-hood’ kinda guy myself.” Came Matt’s reply in all of their ears. Matt had decided to stay on the Castle, albeit reluctantly. Something about being _The man in the chair_ instead of _Spiderman_. “I’d let him cut me open any da-”

“Hey! Not in front of the kids” Shiro scolded, cracking a repressed smile. “Save it for tonight.” The bags under his eyes had grown heavier in recent days, and his face may have become more gaunt, but it was nice to know Shiro was still Shiro.

Lance looked over at Keith, who was returning his gaze impassively. As if Shiro, resposible dad/ fearless leader Shiro _hadn’t_ just cracked a joke. And a dirty one, at that. Who’s this FBI agent carbon- copy and what did he do with the real keith?

“Sorry, Lance. Looks like you’re gonna have to duck out of this one” Pidge lunged forward to say into his ear. Lance parried, and got pidge into a headlock, which she quickly slipped out of. She feigned stabbing him with her bayard, both of them repressing giant grins.

“Shut up, don’t you have a lion to drive.”

“Green drives herself. She’s an independent woman, and i can’t confine her to the standards of a vehicle.”

“I’ll confine your mom to the standards of a vehicle.”

“Don’t bash colleen.” Hunk piped up. “She’s a lovely lady.”

“How do you know my mom?” Matt and Pidge said in unison. This happened a lot, and it never stopped being creepy.

“You talk in your sleep.”

“Your mom talks in her sleep.”

“Again, with the Mom bashing.”

“Is there a point to this?” Keith’s voice was sharp and humorless. It was like keith was talking, but some hardened war general’s voice was coming out. Lance pushed off from the dashboard. “Relax, keith. The ride is 3 vargas, we have ti-”

 Keith interrupted him with a glare. “Time we could be spending researching the planet we’re about to land? Gaining basic intel for espionage.”

Pidge sighed and plopped down on the glorified wheely chair she’d accommodated to the green lion.

“The planet is called Contefey. We don’t know a lot about it. End of research.”

Keith glowered ahead of him. “Anything else.”

“Yeah.” Pidge deadpanned.

“Contefey.” Lance tried to pull an Allura and diffuse the situation. “Sounds French.”

“It’s not, but it may as well be.” Pidge broke away from her stalemate with keith and brought up multiple alien-looking documents. “The place looks like a real life 18th century fairy tale.”

Pidge brought up around ten documents, ranging from picturesque satellite images to what looked like crude cave paintings , to history books filled to the top with alien scrawl that looked over a hundred years old. All of them _did_ look like something out of a fairytale, gabled roofs and ivory cobblestone towers high over mountains. Oversized toadstools and winding, grand trees dotted the countryside. The whole thing had a very peter-pan, mystical fairy land vibe to it. Even the sky was an unnatural, eye bleeding blue.

“Methane in the atmosphere.” Pidge clarified, practically oozing with excitement. “It’s the same thing that makes Neptune blue,but it’s only found in the outer layer of atmosphere, kinda like ozone on earth, except instead of blocking out the sun, it just lets the sun burn it up. Theres a ton of fire in the atmosphere, and, of course, it’s all blue. Below it, the atmosphere is mostly oxygen.”

Matt’s voice came crackling through the comms, matching pidge’s excitement. “Actually, Contefeyan air has more oxygen than on earth. And they share a lot of the same properties, except Earth is on average cooler and, as far as we can tell very little water can be found on Conte-”

“Right, right.” Keith interrupted. He was doing that a lot, it was almost like he asked questions and didn’t want to hear the answer. “So, you do have inel.”

“Of course we have intel.” Pidge supplied helpfully. Sometimes, that kid could be a little shit. And Lance loved her all the same for it. Possibly even more, now that she was unconsciously helping Mission-Get-On-Keith’s-Last-Nerve-So-He-Gets-Pissed-And-Shows -Some-Normal-Human,-Or-I-Guess-Half-Galra-Half-Human,-Emotions-And-We-Can-Put-His-Moody-Spell-Behind-Us-And-Go-Make-Space-Ice-Cream, title pending revision.

“I hate to say it, but i’m with keith.” No reaction from the man himself, which Lance half expected. “Atmospheric info isn’t going to help us invade a foreign planet and acclimate to their society.” Keith looked away from where his eyes were previously fixed, the area generally in front of him. He looked at shiro, who was looking fondly at their conversation and whispering softly into his comm.

If Lance could make anything positive out of shiro’s recent illness, or whatever it was that sucked all the energy out of their leader and leaving him looking deflated and burned out, it was that Matt’s return was somehow helping. He still nursed almost constant headaches, and sometimes zoned out to the extent where even an attack on Voltron didn’t snap him out of it, but Shiro had seemed more alert recently. He was spending more and more time outside his bedroom, and managed to joke closer to his normal amount. He seemed calmer, more at peace, and whatever Matt did to cause that, Lance was grateful for it.

They all heard the little click that meant someone was switching from a private line to their collective communication line (Lance liked to call it a Verbal Group Chat, but Pidge hit him whenever he did so he would refrain for now.)Keith was looking to Shiro, like it was his turn to speak. “Uh.” Shiro said intelligently. He clearly had less of an idea of what was going on than any of them. Even Allura, who spent this whole time near the front of the cockpit, gazing at passing planets and stars with something that looked like nostalgia.He looked around the room for a clue of what to say. “Do you need to make a suggestion, Keith?”

The Fun Sucker in question returned his eyes to the rest of the group. “Let me run in there and get intel from the locals. If they don’t want to talk, i’ll make them. I’ll relay it back to you via comms, and distract them while you run in.”

“Keith, that’s crazy.” Pidge said it, but everyone else might as well have too, considering how they all turned to look at the red paladin with alarm. “You’d be putting yourself in un necessary danger.”

“We’re not sure whether the planet is hostile or not.” Hunk agreed. “You could get captured, or killed, or hurt some other way.”

“So? We’ll get the intel we need.” Keith seemed like he genuinely didn’t see anything wrong with running into a planet blind, which was at least, concerning. Lance was familiar with the boy’s recent spell of attempted self-sacrifice.

Okay, so Lance would never admit it, but Naxzela was one of the most terrifying moment’s of Lance’s space stay. The sound of keith’s voice as he announced he was going to penetrate the planet’s atmosphere, not even a hint of fear or uncertainty, was etched into Lance’s psyche for weeks. It troubled him, how easy Keith made that decision, to end his life for the sake of a mission. He supposed it made sense- Self sacrifice for the sake of a cause was the Blade of Marmora’s entire M-O. Suicide missions were considered honorable, and happened way too often for comfort. Keith had been with the blade for a while, of course he would pick up their kamikaze philosophy. It still worried lance, even when he understood the source of the behavior.

Shiro shifted uneasily, the uncomfortably familiar wrinkle between his eyebrows taking up permanent residence once again. “Doing that would draw attention to us immediately. The whole point is to not...do that.”

“And besides.” Matt’s voice buzzed in all of their ears. “We have another, arguably fun-er solution.”

Pidge’s signature wicked grin split her face, and they all knew The Holts were up to something. She stood up with a flourish while Matt played a drumroll from his side of the communication line.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, and those who have yet to decide,” Pidge strolled to a large tarp that had been tacked up over one of green’s walls. “I present to you, our Solution.” She pulled off the tarp , to reveal a metal box with a stage built into green’s hull. The metal glinted where Pidge had grafted it to the lion’s space metal, and it had some sort of glass cover. It looked like a weird, futuristic wall microwave.

“What is it?” Shiro asked with genuine curiosity.

“A Replicator!” The Holt Gremlins- he meant Siblings, said in that scary unison they always pulled off. “I call it the Spock 69.” Pidge presented the box like the ladies on Wheel of Fortune, “Spock because i got the idea from Star Trek, 69 because Matt made me.”

“Nice.”

“It uses information from the documents we found to generate matter from the natural energy Green’s quintessence releases.” Pidge said in her telltale rambling voice. Keith used to have a rambling voice, lance thought, then he slapped himself for letting his thoughts drift away from the problem at hand. “And then, it uses this super awesome laser to stop the matter particles from bonding with anti-particles and burning up and becoming energy, and then the existing particles are strung together with a-”

“English! Pidge! Please! Or, at least Altean because i’m not sure even Allura can understand you.” 

The Green Paladin sighed, and then translated. “It takes energy junk and turns it into other junk we can use. For example, fabric for disguises.” Then, Pidge pulled a metal cabinet out from under the Quintessence Microwave (The Quicrowave!) and pulled out some bundles of fabric. She must have been at this replicator thing for ages, and seemed to have the forethought to make the costumes in advance. Which means she had exactly one Earth Night to pull all of this off. Either pidge’s quicrowave was crazy fast , or Pidge hadn’t slept. The big brother inside of Lance wanted to scold her, but she had just saved all of their asses. And besides, her actual big brother was listening over the comms.

“Costumes! Oh, Awesome!.” Hunk exclaimed, pulling out an over complicated embroidered jacket. And, Holy shit, it did look something out of a Fairytale.

“Oh, sweet! If we’re gonna invade a potentially hostile alien planet, at least we get to go in looking like a bunch of Beauty and the Beast open-world Larp-ers.” Lance pulled out a blue, hooded tunic that looked stretchy enough to accommodate his lanky torso, and a quiver of arrows. Although Lance was a terrible archer, and there wasn’t a bow anywhere to be seen, the container would make a perfect place to hide his Bayard. Great thinking on Pidge’s part.

“We all know who Beauty is” Lance winked at Allura, who returned the gesture while clearly not knowing what it meant. “Keith can be the beast.” Keith, in an absolutely baffling series of events, didn’t respond. Lance had an inkling suspicion this was how the rest of the mission would go.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lance was a lot of things. Impulsive, maybe a little bit, although not as much as Keith. Overbearing, probably. A lot of lance’s failed girlfriends (and boyfriends, for that matter) had told him he was “A Lot.” What else was he supposed to be? Nothing at all? Stoic and Cold, pretending he didn’t have basic human emotions or empathy like everyone else he came across? ADHD, well duh. Cool guy syndrome wasn’t exactly a character trait.                                                                                                                                       

Lance was a romantic, an idealist, a little bit of a pain in the ass. He was a lot of things, but one of them was not apathetic. He wasn’t stupid either- he could take hints from people, and he could tell when someone wasn’t being himself. So when Keith disappeared for 3 months, after deciding out of the blue to join some violent rebel group he’d just discovered only recently ,leaving his teammates with a hole in the carefully constructed balance they’d formed over a year, all before coming back all jittery and emotionless, and with a newly kindled death wish like a freaking dementor sucked all the soul out of him, Lance knew something was up. And Lance could not, for the life of him ignore it.

In fact, he noticed it immediately. The transformation was so jarring that the second Keith walked off that pod and onto the castle deck, Lance had been convinced he was an invader. Hey, you never know with Aliens! You talk to a guy on a planet for a week, and you think you know him, and decide it’s time to invite him into your lion, and then he shows up looking completely different and you find out he’s actually a shapeshifter who wanted to co- op the Red Lion for some space spring breaking and thought you’d be weak for a pretty enough face (Which, Lance was, but that doesn’t matter), so he played you like some weird, in real life catfish. Lance had asked how they could tell this keith-immitating-commander-Iverson version of their friend was the real guy, and Keith deflected the question. Lance had continued on like that was just a dumb joke. 

_Hey, everyone, Keith’s back!_

Except, Lance knew Keith wasn’t entirely back. Some core part of the Conspiracy theory-loving, leather jacket in 120 degree weather wearing, lactose intolerant but if you really think that’s gonna stop him from chugging every milkshake Hunk can whip up in an hour, you are sorely mistaken Keith they all knew and loved, abandoned them on that first escape pod he’d left the team on 3 months ago. Lance noticed it. He hated to admit it, but Keith (the real , wall-less, authentic keith) Had slowly grown to become one of Lance’s favorite people. He’d finally forgot to deny it around the third time Keith had been in his room at 4 AM, too drunk on exhaustion and leftover adrenalin to police his own thoughts, letting lance know the weirdest, most random shit that popped into his head until they both were on the floor, laughing so hard they couldn’t breathe.

He’d said, _Ya know Keith, you’re not actually that bad,_ Because Lance is completely emotionally inarticulate,and that was the most heartfelt thing he could think to say. But Keith just looked back at him, slightly flushed and breathless, with wide eyes filled to the brim with warmth and appreciation and something else Lance couldn’t identify, and all he could think was Shit.

Shit Shit Shit.

Lance couldn’t see this new Keith, the Keith who had been staring acutely in front of him for the better part of three whole hours, laughing with him any time soon. And, if Lance was honest, it kinda hurt. It hurt him that keith let himself get beaten down like this, that he’d so willingly extinguish the light inside of him after showing it to lance. Taunting him with it, saying “Come over here and knock down these emotional walls keith put up because he’s an idiot.”, showing him glimpses, before taking it all away in one fluid motion. He couldn’t tell whether to be Angry at keith, or concerned, or if it was all just in his head.

It certainly didn’t help Lance was incredibly bisexual and Keith was incredible stupid straight-boy crush material. He didn’t know exactly when his tastes switched from totally-out-of-his-league-and-possibly-homosexual-gorgeous-intelligent-powerful-space-princesses to Mullets, but they had. Lance wasn’t stupid, and he wasn’t so insecure that he couldn’t admit it to himself. And, so what, maybe he had developed a small, little middle school crush on Keith, and okay maybe he dreamt of fingerless gloves and bruised knuckles and moth-man theories on his bedroom floor, both of their faces flushed, gasping for breath in between uncontrollable bouts of laughter. It’s not like he was going to do anything about it, intergalactic space war and all. And it’s not like he could do anything about it, now that Keith had effectively gouged out all Lance loved about him with a rusty spoon.

Lance was a lot of things, but he wasn’t dumb. So, as Team Voltron descended onto potentially hostile territory, dressed in garb that would put a Shakespearean seamstress to shame, Lance made a pact with himself to ignore any feelings he had On, For, or About keith until he decided what the fuck was going on. Right now, it was get into the planet, find the informant, get out without being detected. Any keith-related angst could wait.

But, Damn was he making it hard. Keith was wearing this stupid god damn tunic, with stupid god damn shoulder pads and stupid god damn embroidery (How the fuck had Pidge had time to replicate Embroidery?) and stupid god damn slicked back hair that hid his mullet and made him look like a stupid god damn Prince. All of this fairy tale imagery was making Lance sick. They had to get off this planet before Lance burst out into song or professed his undying love for Toadstools or something.

Lance became increasingly more anxious as The Paladins approached the borders to a kingdom they knew nothing about, on a planet they knew nothing about, inhabited by people they knew nothing about. They’d had to walk through a small principality before reaching the Capital, and the locals there were absolutely no help, as expected. The only information they managed to pick apart was that the kingdom they must have been looking for was called Eldham. All the information PIdge had managed to obtain in advance had been at least several hundred years out of date, and none of it had anything to do with the planet’s political state or anything they could use to their advantage    So, in total, all they knew was that The Galra had once occupied the planet before being driven out by some unknown force, and that Contefey had a wicked sense of fashion.

Pidge, who was dressed in a weird green space poncho (embroidered because why the fuck not) and what appeared to be a fashionably ripped scarf, wasn’t exactly all that secure in the team’s knowledge either. “Something feels off, and i’m not just referring to Keith doing his best impression of a greek statue the whole ride here.” Pidge sidled up next to him, eyeing the back of keith’s head with ferocity.

“Yeah, and he was acting like one too”

“This is no time for innuendo, Lance.” She said, understanding fully how it was always time for innuendo. “Normally going onto a planet blind is, okay, dumb, but we can manage it.” Pidge adjusted her pack nervously. It was designed to look like some sort of alien guitar case- A bard? Really?- and hid both her bayard, and some supplies they might need during the mission. “Now? Shiro has been dead to the world for months, Allura is this close to collapsing under the weight of the entire goddamn universe- I saw Hunk scowl the other day, lance. _Scowl._ ”

“Well, we only just defeated Zarkon. Maybe it’ll take some time for us to cool down from the stress.” He knew negotiating for Sam Holt’s life had taken a lot out of both her and her brother. She probably hadn’t even had time to breathe since Kerberos , let alone for a good night’s sleep. Lance knew pidge’s insomnia was self inflicted rather than chronic, and yeah, he said he wouldn't big-brother her, but that worried him just about as much as everything else about her did.

“Just because Zarkon is dead , and Lotor is off trying to reclaim his throne or whatever, doesn’t mean our problems are over with. We can’t afford to cool down while so much is still at stake” She shifted her fiery gaze away from Keith and over to Lance. “And Now with keith acting all suicide-for-a-cause on us on top of everything,there’s too many unstable variables. Too much could go wrong.”

They passed under the massive stone archway leading to the city’s square. He nodded politely to one of the border guards, who returned the gesture. She- Lance guessed they were a she, she looked female at least by earth standards, but you never really knew with aliens- turned her head slightly, revealing a massive crystal formation sprouting from the side of her head, all the way down to where her ear should have been. There was no doubt in his mind that PIdge was standing beside him, ogling the side of that poor guard’s head like it was the coolest thing in the entire universe, and beginning to think about how it worked and how she could replicate it in a laboratory setting.

Pidge was such a weird kid. Except, he had to remind himself, she wasn’t really a kid. 2 years younger than him was barely anything, but when he had at least a foot and a half on her, it was hard to remember they were around the same age. He guessed, if he had to put a reason on why he felt so protective of the green paladin, it would be because she reminded him of his little sister, Veronica.

Ronnie would spend hours ranting to him about Victor Hugo in The Miserable People, or whatever that giant book she always carried around with her and had worn down until it barely held together was called. Lance felt a pang of sadness thinking about her, what she was doing right now, if she was safe (because Lance certainly wasn’t)and if she was thinking about him (Because he was. All the time. Even on life or death missions on alien planets.) It was unfair to lump the two of them together as similar souls just because they were both around the same age and passionate about things Lance thought was dumb. Pidge probably had no idea who Grande Air and Enjoy Rash were, and Ronnie understood theoretical physics about as much as he did (which was, for the record, not at all). Lance felt a little bad that the entire basis of their friendship might have been that she reminded him of his sister, but the more Lance got to know Matt the greater his suspicion that their relationship was symbiotic on that level grew.

Either way, fucked up family abandonment issues or not, Lance trusted pidge to get them out of this if she could. She was certainly much smarter than him, and what she lacked in height she certainly made up for in raw resourcefulness and talent alone. Lance really hoped that was enough to get them out of whatever hell they just dug up, but any optimism he had left about this mission officially faded away once they passed into the city’s walls.

The whole pavilion felt like it was holding its breath. The species of aliens that made up the population of Contefey varied, Lance spotted Olkari, some Taujeerans, even a few Balmerans who must have escaped before The Galra invaded their planet. Speaking of, not a single purple furry could be seen (except maybe Keith if you squinted hard enough). No other Alteans either, lance recognised with grim certainty. He doubted there were any Alteans alive aside from the ones they knew of, but he thought he owed it to Allura to at least look.

They may have been of different species, but every Alien lance could see was staring at them the same way. The same way that people look at you when a teacher calls you out in front of the whole class, or when you say the wrong thing at a party and people start to think you’re going to ruin their good time. Like you don’t belong there. Like you would just be doing yourself a favor to go home. The whole square was dead silent. The only sounds that could be heard was the crackling off The Paladins’ comms and the exchange of coin from one gloved hand to another in the corner shops. Lance made terrified eye contact with Hunk, who was just as familiar with this phenomenon as he was.

“Interloper!” Came the warbled accusation from somewhere in the crowd.

“Yeah, Go back to your own side!”

“People like you are why we need that wall.”

“Stop trying to steal our trade, like you stole everything else!”

Well, Lance supposed they couldn’t have left everything on earth. Racism- or he guessed, Species-ism- could be found everywhere. Why should this dumb Toadstool planet be any different? Except, Lance didn’t think this was a Race thing, or even a Species thing at all. Lance scanned the now aggressively milling crowd, and found a lot of things. Cloaks, armor, sometimes places where either would be appreciated but both were absent. The one thing he couldn’t find? Embroidery.

Pidge and her fucking embroidery were gonna get them killed.

The first of the aggressors started by shoving Hunk and making it look like an accident. _Nobody_  tried to shove Hunk, or even did so by actual accident. He was a big dude, and could look brooding if he so pleased-Thanks to the less-than-friendly locals, he so pleased. A few more tried the same to Lance, then Pidge, then Keith. Finally, they couldn’t take two steps without being shoved and cursed at. Lance saw the border guards stir in his peripheral, and registered for a second how this might have looked to outside onlookers- a group of newcomers arrive, wearing clothes the contefeyans apparently hate enough to silence a previously amiable crowd, doing something to make the locals aggressive. Whatever that”Something” was wouldn’t matter to them- the outsiders were causing trouble, and would need to be taken out. Then, it wouldn’t matter who they were, they were being disruptive to the peace.Once that happened, the whole mission was tanked.

Well, shit.

“Do you have something to say to me?” Keith hissed at the third person to bump him a little more than deliberately.

Shit. Double shit.

The alien looked like an Unilui, was no less seedy than anyone they’d met at the Space mall, and threw the first punch. Keith dodged his fist, grabbed the guy’s arm, and twisted it behind him, flooring the man. None of them knew very much about the biology of alien species, but Lance had to guess that his arm should not have been able to bend that way.

Then, to put it eloquently, everything went to shit. There was a flurry of color as the previously complacent, although slightly irked citizens turned on the Paladins, torch and pitchfork mob style. Lance subconsciously glanced behind him to get a good look at any exist they may have to use. The only one in view,and unobstructed by a street vendor or a conveniently placed storefront was back the way they came, but the border guards were already circling the perimeter, weapons raised hesitantly. His eyes found the crystal girl from earlier, who was talking in furious hushed tones to her lower ranking officers. Probably telling them to apprehend the paladins before they did something crazy like breathe or , god forbid, take more than five steps uninterrupted.

Keith hissed somewhere on Lance’s right. “We’re surrounded.”

“Yeah, no shit.” Pidge pulled her bayard from somewhere under her cloak, and the others did effectively the same. If they had any luck, which Lance was thoroughly convinced they didn't, the locals wouldn’t recognise their weapons and pass them off as just normal foreigners.

Lance moved to stand back-to-back with pidge and waited for the oncoming wave of angry villagers. He spotted Allura and Shiro doing something similar, prepared to handle the guards on the exit side. Hunk would try and slip out to find an alternative point of entry they couldn't find from their current position.                                                      They had this down to a science; they aimed to neutralize and not seriously hurt or kill, and Hunk’s weapon was more designed to wiping out a large number of threats permanently. He would be on recon. Allura and Shiro were physically taller than Lance and Pidge , so they’d cover the two of them from the back and wait for a moment to sprint towards the exit. Lance would have been more suited to sniping at the crowd at a distance, but they didn't have the time to spare, so he’d try his hand at swordsmanship, while Pidge electrocuted the shit out of the aliens at his side.

It was only after it was too late that they realised; they’d excluded Keith. 

 Normally, lance conceded, that would be an undeniably shitty and flat out dumb thing to do. But, in his and the Paladins’ defense, the guy had been gone for several months. With a new hole in their close knit team, they’d had to adapt to the best of their ability.

That was their mistake, Lance surmised. Because, as the paladins’ exit strategy first came into play, Keith surged forward on nobody’s plan but his own.

And, before he could reach out to stop him from doing something stupid he’d definetely regret, Lance felt himself being pulled backwards by his collar, leaving him to watch helplessly while Keith destroyed everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell that Brooklyn 99 influences everything i write yet? Stay tuned for more testing of Lance's patience by The Lord.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!!!! I meant for this to be a one-shot deal, but my fingers and Keith had other ideas, so now it's multi-chapter. Stay tuned for more angst, riveting internal commentary, and Embroidery????


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